Rainbows, Fairies, Farts & Hangovers


 I woke up today with a hangover

Fell out of bed, & hit my head

My arm broke & the dragon on my desk

He said; ‘thou fool art late for thy death’

I said back to my hallucination;

‘I’ve been late my entire life’

‘What makes today any different?’

The dragon glared at me and bore his teeth

And faded in a whirl of smoke

I thought nothing of it

And got up and started my day

With a fart, morning wood, and an hour in front

Of the toilet throwing up last night’s beer

And curry

I got dressed, just about

And headed out to work

And as I walked to the bus-stop

I nearly got run over by a lorry

As the wind blew past me

A pigeon flew at me

And shit on my head

Laughing as it escaped my clutches

I got on the bus

And fell asleep

Then three gnomes appeared

Mugged me at knife-point

Taking all my gold

And the horse they rode in on

Slapped me

And the bus came to a screeching halt

And I banged my head on the chair in front of me

The driver called out; ‘all right everyone, off the bus’

The damn thing broke down

I stumbled off the bus as the only passenger

But the driver made a fuss making me queue

Behind the gnomes, the horse, the dragon

And the tall one at the front


Now death

As it seems

Refused to get off the bus

And nobody had the strength to shift him

The gnomes tried and failed

The horse tried and fell ill

But the dragon laughed and blew fire at death

And then the driver panicked as his bus caught fire

So I panicked and ran to get off the fiery inferno

And pushed past the driver, horse, dragon, and gnomes

And got past death

And then I was dead

And the dragon said to me;

‘thou fool art should have waited’

Damn, I thought

Maybe tomorrow will be better

After all, it is only a dream… at least

I hope it was


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